It's All Coming Back To Me!

Tonight I watched a computer generated video of how a baby is born with my two oldest kids! I can't believe that they are old enough to know all of this now or that I am old enough to have kids old enough for this! They were curious and when they ask specific questions we feel they are ready for answers and we tell them that this is something special for parents to tell their children and they don't need to go around talking about it with anyone, but they can always talk to their family!

Both kids were quiet after watching...I was quiet! The memories of the pain came flooding back in from the dark recesses of my mind and made me NERVOUS! It's amazing how after each kid you may remember, but it doesn't fully hit you until you either are there or close enough to think about it! Of course I remembered with Alyssa as soon as I walked into the hospital to be induced and was so nervous that when the lady at the desk asked for my SSN I went COMPLETELY blank! Good thing my husband was there and makes great effort to memorize all of our SSN! We all at least go a good laugh out of it! :)

After the video Alyssa said "It does look painful." I asked, "Does it scare you?" and she said "Well it's what you go through to have babies and I want babies." Such a brave kid.

Bria on the other hand has a few more years until we expose her to any of this knowledge. The only thing she does know is that it is painful, but worth it. Of course pain does not equal worth in her mind so she has decided to never get married cause she doesn't want babies. So, I figured I would give her some time to let her mind change and there has been some softening cause she is now talking about who she will marry one day! B from church!

Chad looked concerned and said "That must be painful!" Then he told me he loved me and didn't like the idea of me having to be in pain, but knew it was something you just have to do. We talked about the beautiful gift a baby is and that we are stronger than we think a lot of times, so I think that helped too. Over all I would say that this was a great learning and relationship building talk with Chad and Alyssa.

As for me I have 3 weeks left and am starting to get miserable, toss and turn while watching the hours on the clock go by and don't think my belly could POSSIBLY get any bigger cause it hurts kind of miserable! Enough to be ok with the pain, but I am NOT looking forward to it. I just have to keep my eye on the ball. I will be getting a beautiful baby out of all this work and my kids are all excited about this new little one too. Then I will actually be able to bend over! I will also lose about 10 preferrably 15 pounds and be happy until reality sets in and I have to go buy clothes and realize I am still several sizes bigger than I would like to be! After having Chad, while still in the hospital, I remember looking in the mirror and thinking "I am SO skinny!" Then I went home a few days later with my cocky self and tried to fit back into my High School jeans that couldn't EVEN get over my thighs! It was a traumatic tear jerker kind of experience! I never could fit back into those jeans again (my body shape was different) even after losing all my weight! :( Needless to say I have never tried to fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans again right after my babies!